Fight Night: Wreck-it Ralph vs Donkey Kong
by Sea Eagle
Summary: Two gargantuan classic arcade villains face off in a battle of fists and guts. Place your bets and prepare to be at the edge of your seats, 'cause it's Fight Night! Parody of Death Battle by ScrewAttack. 1 of possibly 6


**Hey. If you watched Death Battle by ScrewAttack, then you'll know how this works. So, enjoy**

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Classic arcade games are the root of the gaming world. And to every arcade game good guy, there's always the bad guy.

Like Donkey Kong, the bad guy of the game with the same name,

And Wreck-it Ralph, the bad guy of Fix-it Felix Jr.

But between these gargantuan villains, who would win in a fight?

For a fair assessment of the two's skills, I will be examining the most recent version of the two fighters. Since the Donkey Kong in the original Donkey Kong game is different from the DK in Donkey Kong Country, we will assume that Cranky Kong passes down all his abilities to Donkey Kong through genetics.

My name is Sea Eagle. Place your bets and prepare to be at the edge of your seats, 'cause it's Fight Night!

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Donkey Kong III is the grandson of Donkey Kong, or Cranky Kong in Donkey Kong Country. He is a carefree ape who spends his time looking for bananas with his buddy, Diddy Kong. However, when he was a baby, he was kidnapped by Kamek and his Koopa Troop. But then he escaped, met a bunch of Yoshis, and helped them kicked the Koopa Troop's ass.

He is one of the seven Star Children-wait, STAR Children? I guess that's where Star got her screen name, huh? Heheh. Anyways, as a baby, he slowly developed his skills in vine swinging when riding on a Yoshi's back.

Fast forward to his adulthood, he was the pet Gorrila to fellow Star Child, Mario "Jumpman" Mario. Jumpman, Nintendo? Really? I couldn't hear a name more ridiculous.

*remembers Mega Man's original name was Rock Man*

Right…

Back to the story, he was discriminated, and he escaped from the Plumber, and stole his girlfriend. He ran off to a construction site, where he started throwing barrels at Mario once he figured out that he was in pursuit.

And then, he redeemed his ways years later, passed his name to the true Donkey Kong, the agile, powerful, carefree ape we know and love.

Being a gorilla, DK possesses great strength and agility. He is able to swing on vines, and is incredibly strong. He relies solely on brute strength in battle, and will just strike head on without thinking, like a real monkey would. He is a brave, hero-like ape, and will not hesitate to make the first strike. It was stated by Toad, that between the Donkey-Diddy Kong duo, Donkey Kong is the brawn, and Diddy Kong is the brain.

This is extremely true, because Donkey Kong is extremely dimwitted. As shown in Donkey Kong 64, where he speaks in a third-person style English. And he is easily enraged when his bananas are taken away from him. As shown in well, every game where it has happened, but the most notable is the Donkey Kong Country series.

On his knuckles, he stands at the height of 6'1", and he weighs in at a whooping 800 pounds! One of the heavy weights of Nintendo characters. His skills involve the straight on Giant Punch, the amazing Spinning Kong, the ground breaking Headbutt, and the Hand Slap, in which his massive hands repeatedly slam the ground, and everything it hits goes flat.

Looks like this ape is bananas.

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Wreck-it Ralph is the main antagonist of the fictional game, Fix-it Felix Jr. In the game's story, he lived alone in his stump within a forest. However, the forest was demolished to create the Niceland apartment, and his stump was moved to the junkyard. And thus, Ralph swore revenge. By how you ask?

Smashing the building down with his FUCKING BARE HANDS!

Ralph's main abilities include Superhuman strength, enough to break down brick walls, steel doors, carts, Mentos stalactites, and a jawbreaker! Which in real life is equivalent to a rock, which has a density of 1600 kg/ m3. That's a lot of steroids.

He is also shown to have intense speed, like when in the beginning of the movie, he quickly pounded a pile of bricks. Yeah, if Machamp was a human, and had two arms, it would be this guy. But that speed doesn't really go to his feet.

But he kinda makes up for it for his durability. He can survive falling down a multi story building, take a hit from King Candy Cy-bug, which might break a person's bone in half, and getting hit by Vanellope's kart multiple times. All without feeling pain…well, maybe a little.

Ralph stands tall at 9 feet, and weighs in at 643 pounds. He has an amazing willpower. Once he focuses on one thing, he can't be convinced that he was wrong unless proven he was. He's also kind hearted, and a quick thinker in tight situations, like when he had the idea to create a Cy-bug beacon from the Diet Cola Mountain.

However, dying outside of his game will cause permanent death, like any of the other video game characters. And he is easily enraged, and will destroy everything in his anger, losing control of himself. But those are his only known weaknesses, and he easily covers them up overtime.

Let's see if Ralph can wreck it.

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Fighters, get to your positions! And get ready for the next battle!

Who will rise to victory, and who will fall? Place your bets, and get ready to be at the edge of your seats, 'cause it's Fight Night!

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In the centre of GCS, everyone was gathered around in the center, for a spectacular event. Every character talked about it for weeks, months even, and now the deciding time has come. What event am I talking about?

The fight between Donkey Kong and Wreck-it Ralph.

The two enters the circle, and got into their fighting stances…well, Ralph did. DK just stood there mocking him with his monkey like poses before getting ready about 5 seconds later. The two's fists were gripped tightly, and they focused all their attention to each other. It was only one word before…

FIGHT!

And they began.

DK was the first to attack; he went straight up to Ralph and just started punching his face, rolling him back. But Ralph managed to block one of them, and countered with a harsh blow to DK's stomach before hitting him with a fury of punches. Then he sent the ape flying backwards with a powerful punch. He rolled and rolled and rolled backwards with no stopping. He did however manage get back up on his feet….or hands. I dunno.

And then, DK became enraged. He charged straight up to Ralph at full speed. Ralph charged up a punch, and aimed straight for DK's face. But just as he was about to throw it, DK headbutted the Wrecker, causing him to get stuck in the ground. It was then that DK performed the Hand Slap. He repeatedly pounded Ralph's poor face, leaving him vulnerable to a high amount of damage. And then he punched him out of the hole, and into the sky.

He approached him with the Spinning Kong. However, Ralph got his balance back, and did a little Superman pose, like what he did in Diet Cola Mountain. He plummeted straight down at high speed, his fist hitting down on the gorrila's head, leaving vulnerable to Ralph's insane fury of punches before getting punched back to the ground.

The poor monkey fell on his back, and his stomach met up with Ralph's gigantic feet. He jumped back to his ground, and the monkey got back on his toes, fully enraged. He charged Ralph, full on, and charged up his Giant Punch. Seeing the incoming threat, Ralph's back feet backed up even more. And as DK was about to unleash his punch, Ralph's left arm deflected it with a backhand.

He was in.

His right arm swung at tremendous speed, and uppercutted DK right in his stomach, and he was sent flying to the sky. The result was DK blowing up like in Super Smash Bros.

KO!

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Yeah, it was a tough decision to make, since the two had quite a similar body build.

Even though DK had the agility advantage and outweighs Ralph by nearly 200 pounds, but Ralph is nearly 3 feet taller, can punch faster, has better durability, is 12 years older, and has been developing his fists in the most badass way ever: punching bricks before bed. Ralph is also shown to be more fearless, and has an even stronger will.

DK was mistreated his entire life, and what does he do? Kidnap his master's girlfriend, took her to a construction site, threw barrels at Mario, and did not strike head on until the final moments of the original DK.

Ralph had his home demolished and what did he do? SMASH DOWN THE FUCKING BUILDING IN ITS PLACE!

Not to mention that Ralph is SLIGHTLY smarter than DK. Not be much, but he is. He has come up with ideas that made quite a lot of important plot points, like the Diet Cola Mountain blast, climbing up the Hero's Duty tower to get his medal, and creating Vanellope's mountain track.

Speaking of climbing, while DK was able to climb trees, the buildings that Ralph climbed up was clearly even taller than the trees DK climbed, which proves that he has better climbing strength than the gorilla.

Eventually, Ralph's greater durability, intellect, and reaction speed, quickly gave him the win.

Looks like the battle blew the roof of the place.

The winner is Wreck-it Ralph.

Next time on Fight Night!

When it comes to speed, these two are the king and queen. But between these two speedsters, who will win in a fight?

Sonic the Hedgehog VS Rainbow Dash! Coming soon!

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**well, that was short. Sorry that i haven't been writing that much, i had National Exams. But now that it's over, i'm back to the site. Up next, i'm doing a new story on Joe Sweetstone, and another story about a Disney Pokemon League, and of course, Fight Night 2. Don't miss it! Please review, and there's a poll on my profile to see who YOU think will win the next fight, so answer that too.**

**PEACE TO ALL MY PEOPLE!**


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